The other day, I asked a question out loud. It was of a spiritual nature, and I don’t often speak them out loud, though I certainly do have them. I adhere to Thomas Jefferson’s “question with boldness” mantra. I think it’s important to not ever believe the first source on anything you find unless you can find at least a second or third source to back up th
e first one.
The exact quote from Jefferson was written in a letter to Peter Carr, his nephew. He said: “Religion. Your reason is now mature enough to examine this object. In the first place divest yourself of all bias in favor of novelty and singularity of opinion. Indulge them in any other subject rather than that of religion. It is too important, and the consequences of error may be too serious. On the other hand, shake off all the fears and servile prejudices under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. You will naturally examine first the religion of your own country.”
Jefferson said much more about religion in this letter, but I give this portion to illustrate the seriousness with which Jefferson held the topic of religion and figuring out for yourself what is true. The italicized portion is the part of the quote that always sticks with me. Though I have never questioned the existence of a God (I’ve had far too many witnesses of his existence to see the logic in doing so), I do question why he makes us go through the things we do. I question his commandments, especially when I see that they are hurting people. And, I question the cultures surrounding religions, not just mine, all of them.
Additionally, our Father in Heaven has established all throughout the scriptures that his word will be established through the mouth of two or three witnesses. So, I look for them. My favorite scripture on this matter is 2 Nephi 11:3, which says, “And my brother, Jacob, also has seen him as I have seen him; wherefore, I will send their words forth unto my children to prove unto them that my words are true. Wherefore, by the words of three, God hath said, I will establish my word. Nevertheless, God sendeth more witnesses, and he proveth all his words.” Other scriptures that talk about needing two or three witnesses are Ether 5:4, 2 Corinthians 13:1, Matthew 18:15-16, and John 8:17.
So, I question things, lots of things, not just religion, but also, science, history, and politics. I look for multiple witnesses that what is said is true. I research the motives, funding, and beliefs of the witnesses to get a better understanding of why they say what they say and decide for myself if I think what is being said is true.
On this day, my question was: if you are righteous, do you really need to take the sacrament? I think that’s kind of bold question. It goes against Mormon culture, where people are incorrectly encouraged by people who do not have the proper authority to refrain from taking the sacrament when they commit some of the more serious sins and even the less serious. So, I vocalized this question, and God answered it over the next couple of days.
First, my oldest, who is baptized and has been reading the Book of Mormon with us to complete the prophet’s challenge to read it by the end of the year, came up to me while I was cooking and asked, “Mom, how do we get back to Heavenly Father?”
And I gave a somewhat jumbled answer that was not as well thought out as I would have preferred. “Well we follow His commandments as best as we can, but really, the only reason we can return to Heavenly Father is because Jesus suffered for our sins in Gethsemane. That’s called the atonement. Without that, there’s no way we could ever get back to Heavenly Father.”
She thought for a bit, as I continued cooking, then said, “I really just want to be with you, but I don’t know if you’ll make it back.”
Daggers to my heart, but I responded, “I don’t know if I’ll make it back either, but I’m trying. Do you want to try with me?”
She agreed and then went on her way. I was left to finish making dinner and think about how amazingly smart (or dare I say wise?) my child was. Alma, when talking to the poor Zoramites about how they can worship and gain spiritual knowledge anywhere, at any time, and from anyone, said, “And now, he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, not only men but women also. Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto them many times, which confound the wise and the learned.” – Alma 32:23
This encounter with my oldest lasted about 5-10 minutes, but it was certainly humbling and most definitely confounding. She knew what my problems were, at least the visible ones, just in the same way that I knew what my parent’s problems were when I was growing up. And, despite knowing my problems, all she wanted was to be with me in the eternities. Amazing.
Then, on Sunday, we had ward conference, so the bishop and stake president both spoke. I was there with my two oldest children because the younger ones were sick at home. Meaning, I actually got to listen to what was said. The stake president thoroughly answered my question, which I was not anticipating at all.
He said that he was so grateful to have the sacrament because otherwise the stake center would be packed every Sunday with everyone trying to get rebaptized and receive a remission of their sins from the week. It was a funny visual in my mind, but it drove home the point that everyone sins, even little tiny sins, that we need to repent of and be cleansed from. The sacrament does that for us, at least the cleansing part.
Then he quoted Elder Bednar, who said that we should always take the sacrament, especially when we sin. None of this “I have made a mistake, therefore, I am unworthy of taking the sacrament.” The only times we should ever not take the sacrament is if we’ve done something that would affect our membership in the church. Certainly, those people exist, but they are not many.
Curious about the context of this quote, I began searching through conference talks and did not find it. So, I asked my stake president where he got it and was told that it was in a Sabbath Day training video. My relief society president helped me find them on lds.org, and I found the entire quote.
“It’s my observation, too, some members of the church, especially very conscientious members can be way too hard on themselves. And, so they may have had an inappropriate thought or a fussy word with somebody in the family before they went out the door, and they may think, ‘Oh, I’m not worthy to partake of the sacrament.’ That’s why we take the sacrament. Now if we do something that potentially affects our standing and membership in the church then there should be a real reservation. Otherwise, we should do what we need to do. Be prepared. Even with all of our best efforts. If I get grumpy going out of the house and say something to somebody that I shouldn’t have said. But the sacrament is to help, and we should not withdraw ourselves from that blessing needlessly.” – Elder Bednar
So, I asked a question, and God answered. I don’t often have these quietly intense moments of direct learning from God, though when I do, the teaching is thorough and sticks forever. The main things I learned from this are that I will never be righteous enough to not need the sacrament, and if by chance I ever think that I am, I am probably in need of a lot of humility. Also, that there are probably a lot of people who should be taking the sacrament but aren’t because of our misinformed culture. My heart goes out to everyone who needs it just as much as I do.